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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?